Talking in Capitals

Sometimes I write little short stories, because, well, I like to. So here’s one I wrote awhile back that I am particularly proud of. Enjoy! 

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Talking in Capitals

 

One day, a rather ordinary man was sitting on a park bench eating his rather ordinary sandwich. It was a rather ordinary day, and he was smiling a rather ordinary smile. Over all, it was rather boring. 

 

Then, a young lady came skipping up, flowers in her hand and an exceptional smile on her face. She sat next to the rather ordinary man. The man, being wary of differences, inched away from the girl on the bench. The girl only smiled at him, and at the park around them. Then she spoke to him. 

 

“Hello. It is a Lovely Day today, isn’t it?” Her eyes were exceptionally happy. 

 

He frowned back at her. “It is an ordinary day. But a good one.” At his words, her face fell. 

 

“Oh,” she said knowingly. “You are one of Those.” 

 

“One of who?” the man exclaimed, properly offended. 

 

“You Talk only in Lowercase.” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

 

“Ah,” the man confirmed, not understanding at all. “Is that bad?” 

 

“Bad?” the girl yelped, perplexed. “Why, it’s perfectly Ordinary. Most Everyone Speaks it. But overall, it is rather Boring, being Ordinary.” 

 

The rather ordinary man looked down at his rather ordinary sandwich, on this rather ordinary day, and felt Bored. 

 

“How does one go about speaking in… not-lowercase?” He asked Curiously. 

 

“Well, we call it Speaking in Capitals. It is rather Easy to Speak. One only must Think about Ordinary things in a Rather Extraordinary way.” 

 

“My my!” The man Exclaimed. “It it really so simple?” 

 

“I’m Afraid so.” The girl smiled rather Sadly. “Most People do not like to Look at Things except in the Way that they are Used To.” 

 

Suddenly the girl rose. She smiled at him, and then walked off, throwing one last remark over her shoulder. 

 

“Well, i’m off to Think about Things. Just remember, all you need is a Little Perspective.” 

 

The man Smiled. 

 

One Day, a rather Ordinary man was sitting on a Park Bench eating his rather Ordinary sandwich. It was a rather Ordinary day, and he was smiling a rather Ordinary smile. Over all, it was rather Extraordinary. 

My Pencil Bag

Ever since I was little, I have had an affinity for picking things up and keeping them. Whether it be rocks, a lost pencil, and funky colored crayon, you name it, I would pick it up, and slip it into my pocket. Now sometimes I would place these items on my nightstand or dresser (and they would mysteriously disappear), or they wouldn’t leave my pocket and I would hear an exasperated “Rachel!” from my mom when she was sorting laundry. 

What does this have to do with my pencil bag, you ask? Well, I never really grew out of the ‘keep things around stage’, and my pencil bag is proof of that. I have a strange number of artifacts that one would not think of standard pencil-bag material. And since mom has never really had access to my pencil bag, it remains to be cleaned out. 

First of all, I have the average pen-and-pencil stuff. I have nice black pens, a good mechanical pencil, and a standard wooden No. 2 pencil for the occasional scantron and doodle (what can I say, I’m old fashioned at heart!). I also have an array of colored pens that I use to take notes or doodle with. I blame Sally Alpini for this, as she always had the best colored pen collection, and I wanted my own. I have a yellow highlighter. I have one of the common Bic pens, you know the ones with the crystal body. 

Now we enter the realm of the odder items. I have a pencil sharpener. I only consider this weird because everyone else uses mechanical pencils that really don’t need sharpening (i’ve tried, that a whole other story), but since I have a wooden pencil, I need the sharpener. I also have those squishy grips. The gel ones, not the foam. What can I say, I’m left-handed and sometimes write so fast and press so hard that I literally bleed. It comes with the territory, and the problem of having a brain too fast for my writing skills to keep up with. I have a USB. Not really weird, per se, but it’s in a little foam green case with a tiny felt covered pegasus attached. The felt was once white, but the hazard of a pencil case is lead, so the white is now gray. 

I have a ring. Not the ones that go on your finger, but the ones that you put together a pile of notecards with. The ones that are either impossible to open or impossible to keep closed. I also have a case of pencil lead for when my aforementioned fancy mechanical pencil needs refueling. 

Now we move on the even stranger things. I have a stick of spearmint Chapstick, for when the writing becomes too much and my lips need it. I really only use it when I decide to sort through my pencil bag, see it, and say hey, Chapstick! I need some. I also have the cable that allows you to transfer data from one TI calculator to the next. I don’t know why I keep it there, I’m not even taking a math class or using a calculator at all, but I have it. I guess it comforts me? 

Now, some of you may be thinking, “Rachel, some of these are unusual, but nothing to warrant a really long blog post about it. You really aren’t that strange.” Well, guys, I’ve really just been gearing up for the finale, because these next two items are going to be some that you will not find in any pencil case anywhere else in the world. They are completely unique and have nothing to do with writing in any form or fashion. They are random. 

Ok. The first one is a clothespin. Yes, you read that right, I have a clothespin in my pencil bag. It was originally just a plain wooden one, but hey, I got bored. I colored it black with a ballpoint pen (which took forever by the way) and then colored the metal parts green. It’s actually really good entertainment, because I can take it apart and put it back together again when I get bored (again). 

But the thing that really takes the cake is the final item….. a (dun dun duun) acorn! Yep, and acorn from a tree. Its one of those really big acorns that is in the rough shell thing, and when you take it out it’s really smooth and rattles when you shake it. The inside of the shell is really soft. I colored each scale on the shell a different color, so it looks like a kaleidoscope. I also drew a smiley face on the acorn part, so that the little pointy part at the end is its nose. I named it Tim. He’s kind of my guard acorn, you could say. He warns everyone away from my pens. 

So there you have it folks! Pens, pencils, lead, sharpeners, cords, Chapstick, clothespins, acorns, USBs, you name it. Its all in there. So anyway, I hope this brightened you guys day, and next time you see an acorn, put it in your purse or something. They are also quite good at guarding pennies.